


How Often Do You Fuck?

by ChutJeDors



Series: Ficlets [1]
Category: The Beatles
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Sex, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 05:11:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7346446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChutJeDors/pseuds/ChutJeDors
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>George is feeling a bit too curious, Paul gets a bit too annoyed and John loses a blowjob. Oh, and there's Ringo too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Often Do You Fuck?

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on LJ in 2013. This is just a short story I wrote one morning because I was slightly bored and it serves no meaning whatever.
> 
> Un-betaed, because at the time I didn't have any. I'm not English, so bear with the grammar mistakes.
> 
> I'm making these short drabbles and unnecessary stories a series so that you know that these should not be taken seriously and are just something that I sometimes do to let out some steam. Cool-io~

"How often do you fuck?"

"What?"

Paul stared at George, who was sitting on the floor with his guitar. On the sofa John suppressed a laugh and Ringo looked up from his book, a faint smile dancing on his lips.

"How often do you fuck?" George asked again and glanced at John, who now cracked up and buried his head into sofa pillows, his muffled crazy laugh echoing in the living room of the hotel apartment they were staying at the moment.

"What, what do you mean?" Paul asked, face flushed when he sat down on the sofa, next to John, ignoring the way the other man was shaking all over.

George huffed annoyedly and then looked at John, then at Paul and then at John again. And then he said it slowly, like he was talking to a child.

"How. Often. Do. You. Fuck."

"He's trying to ask how often I bugger you", John snickered when he lifted his face from the pillow, cheeks flushed and tears in his eyes, a new laugh threatening to leave his throat when he saw Paul's face. The bassist's eyes turned on him and for a moment he held the stare before going back to George.

"Why do you want to know such a thing??" Paul asked totally bewildered and now both Ringo and John started to giggle uncontrollably. George just shrugged and gave him a look that said that Paul was an idiot and he could answer the question already.

"I've just been wondering if you really are willing to do it every night."

"What?" Paul's expression was even more confused now and John howled with laughter. Ringo closed his book, finding the spectacle in the real world far more amusing than anything else at the moment.

"Because", George started to speak, looking like he was wondering what was the meaning of life, "if you shag every night several times, which I believe is true, how come you can still walk and sit like that without even flinching?"

Paul's mouth dropped open and John doubled over before turning his whole body over and lying his head on Paul's lap, putting one hand over his eyes while still laughing. Ringo had cracked up too, but Paul didn't find anything funny in this. It was very obvious from the way his brow furrowed and he tried to push John away, not succeeding, unfortunately.

"I don't find any reason why I should answer that", he then said after giving up the attempt to remove the hysterical Lennon from his lap.

"Well", George looked at Paul like he was an idiot, "I'm interested and I don't find a specific why you _shouldn't_."

Paul glanced at Ringo with desperate eyes, but when finding that the oldest of them all was not going to help, no, instead the man buried his head into his hands and laughed, the bassist huffed and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Sorry, but I'm still not interested in telli---"

"Maybe two times one night, sometimes more, depends if we blow each other first."

"John!" Paul looked at his lover (with this way, soon to be ex) with wide eyes and John exploded with laughter again, held his stomach and turned his head to hide his face into Paul's crotch. Paul grimaced and tried not to let himself be too affected by it.

"Was it that hard, now?" George asked, still not smiling. For him this seemed to really be a normal question to ask. Paul wondered if he had fallen down last night and hit his head against the sofa table. Being drunk was no good.

"But how come you can still sit?" George tilted his head and looked at Paul with honestly interested eyes.

"Well, for you to know, it's not always _me_ who takes it", Paul said and stood up at the same time, as John had started to mouth him through his jeans. He was too annoyed to have sex right now.

"I know it", George frowned, "I asked from John yesterday how does it feel while you were taking a shower."

Paul turned on his heels faster than he had excepted he could and stared at John, who was now lying half on the floor, half on the sofa as he had fallen down when Paul had stood up, and was too lazy to move on any direction.

"True story", the man wriggled his eyebrows and let his feet slide down, rolled on his stomach and crawled over the living room floor, everyone's eyes following him. Ringo was trying not to laugh, George's face was blank and Paul was on the verge of a seizure, probably.

Finally John got at a place comfortable enough and just lied there, on his back and grinned at Paul, who looked like wanting to throw his lover out of the window. Or down the stairs.

"And you just shared our whole sex life with him??" Paul finally managed before his legs gave over and he slumped back on the sofa. John shook his head and Paul had time to take a relieved breath before George talked.

"Everything else but how often you fuck, so that's why I asked."

"Oh for God's sake!" Paul was on his feet again and he stomped at the door that led to he and John's bedroom. "Don't wait for that blowjob I promised earlier!" he said angrily, pointing at John and then disappeared into the room, slamming the door behind him and leaving the other three sit there, amused grins on their faces.

"Sorry you lost that blowjob", George turned on John who was laughing freely, probably making Paul, who could hear that laugh very well thank you, even more mad.

"Don't worry about that, after last night's satisfying fuckfest my dick is so sore I think it needs some time to recover anyway", the rhythm guitarist answered and turned on his stomach, rested his head against his elbows. Ringo shook his head at them and opened the book, continuing on where he left when all this began.

"But John, Paul still didn't tell me how can he sit even when you guys fuck like fucking horny dogs."

"With all that material in his butt I'm sure it softens a bit", was the answer and they were left laughing, Paul's angry 'fuck you' echoing from the bedroom.

 

***~ FIN ~***


End file.
